


In the Dark

by katlynwtf



Category: Naruto, Naruto Shippuden
Genre: Angst, Emotional Trauma, Established Relationship, Fourth Shinobi War, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sensory Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 16:37:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11062917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katlynwtf/pseuds/katlynwtf
Summary: He threw back his head and screamed, but the darkness only swallowed the sound. Not that it mattered anyway, there was no one around to hear.There was only Tenzo, alone in the dark.





	In the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: I thought you were dead.  
> for upn-the-sky

Tenzo didn't know where he was. All he could see was black, stretching around him in every direction. He couldn't tell left from right, up from down, couldn't even see his own hands in front of his face, and no matter how far he ran through it, he couldn't get out. The darkness was suffocating.

"Help me," he begged, pleading to whatever god would listen, wishing, hoping, _praying_  for an answer, for some tiny sliver of light, and it didn't make sense because Tenzo didn't pray. He believed in the edge of a kunai and his own sharp instincts, in the Will of Fire that ran strong in his village and its people, but he sure as hell didn't believe in any god. He had seen too much horror to place stock in a higher power. He prayed anyway. "Help me, please." _Just a little bit of light._

More than the light, though, he wanted Kakashi.

His memories were fractured, mere fragments of what they should be and fading despite his desperate attempts to keep hold of them, but he could still recall Kakashi with perfect clarity, the night before he left clear as day in his mind. He remembered the warm, tender smile on his unmasked lover's face as he pulled Tenzo to his chest, whispering a promise that everything would be okay, that they would survive this and come home to each other. And Tenzo had believed him. As Kakashi rolled over, pressing Tenzo into the mattress and murmuring _I love you_ before kissing him in that way of his that made Tenzo want to give up everything and stay right there with him forever, neither of them would have even dared to imagine that it would be the last time they were together.

Eventually, though, the moment had passed. The haze of post-coital bliss had faded and reality set in again, and they had clung to each other as tightly as Kakashi clung to the comfort of the simple fact that even if he died, Tenzo would be safe.

All Kakashi had ever wanted was for Tenzo to be safe.

_We were so stupid_ , Tenzo thought, choking back a sob as he dropped to his knees, too exhausted to run any further. _We're shinobi. Safe isn't in our job description._

He wondered where Kakashi was now, if his lover was alive, if he knew that Tenzo was missing... and if Kakashi was looking for him. It was a foolish thought - they were at war, and Kakashi would never abandon the village for the sake of one man.

_No one is coming for you_ , he told himself, hands clenching into fists on his thighs as he tried to remember how to breathe around the fear and agony that had found a home in his chest, crushing his lungs. This was war, after all, and it was selfish of him to even want someone to come find him. Even after the war ended, what would be the point? His importance to the village had hinged solely on the Mokuton, on his ability to control the chakra of the Nine Tails, and Naruto no longer needed him for that. He was of no use to the village anymore, and it would be wasteful to send anyone to search for him. _You're going to die here._

He threw back his head and screamed, but the darkness only swallowed the sound. Not that it mattered anyway, there was no one around to hear.

There was only Tenzo, alone in the dark.

\---

Seconds passed, or perhaps it was minutes, even days. Trapped in the darkness, Tenzo had no concept of the passage of time. All he really knew anymore was that he was being stolen, body and mind, cell by cell and eventually, there would be nothing left.

His chakra was still being drained, but it was different than before. He felt the flare of water and earth, could sense his body moving without his permission, but he still couldn't see what the enemy was using his Mokuton for.

He could hear it, though.

Somewhere, people were screaming. Screams of pain, of agony, screams of the living and the dying. Amplified by his lack of other senses, each scream sounded like it was coming from right next to him.

He realized then that his worst nightmare was coming true. The curse he had been forced to bear as a child, the curse he had only just begun to start thinking of as a gift had been taken by the enemy and was being used as a weapon of war. _He_  was being used as a weapon of war, forced to attack the side he was supposed to be fighting _with_ , not against. He had thought that being forced to give up intelligence on his allies was bad, but this... this was so much worse.

_I'm sorry_ , he thought, closing his eyes and fighting back tears. _I'm so sorry_.

Tenzo tried to ignore the screaming, and when that failed, tried to drown it out with his own. He tried to stop himself, tried to will himself to use the last of his chakra and die before he could hurt anyone else, but it was futile.

The screams continued.

Then finally, everything stopped.

\---

Kakashi was no stranger to the battlefield, but he didn't think he'd ever get used to the screams of the dying, the scent of blood and death and human excrement that hung heavy in the air as he followed Tsunade through the maze of medical tents. He wasn't sure where they were going - Tsunade hadn't said a word since the moment she came into his tent and asked him to come with her, and his unease only grew with each step.

"Where are we going?" he asked quietly, but Tsunade didn't answer until they stopped outside a small tent away from the others, slowly turning to face him. The look of sympathy and concern in her eyes filled him with dread. What was waiting inside that tent?

"I need to prepare you for what you're about to see," she answered finally, her voice low. "Don't go in there until I've told you everything, Kakashi, do you understand me?" Kakashi nodded, trying to quell the trepidation currently making a home in his gut, twisting it in knots. "We found Yamato unconscious on the battlefield earlier today."

"What?" He felt as though he had been suckerpunched, all the air knocked from his lungs. He couldn't do anything but stare at Tsunade, and if it weren't for his mask he was sure his jaw would have hit the ground. He moved without thinking, but Tsunade caught him around the chest before he could shove open the tent flaps, pulling him back to face her.

"I said don't," she warned, eyes narrowing. "There are some things you need to know before you go in there." Kakashi listened impatiently as Tsunade rattled off a list of symptoms, behaviors to expect, but when she finally let him into the tent, it still stunned him to see Tenzo curled on his side on the cot, bandages wrapped around his eyes to protect them from the light, shivering despite the three blankets piled on top of him.

"Who's there?" he mumbled, lifting his head when he heard the tent flaps open, and Kakashi swore his heart stopped at the achingly familiar sound of his voice. "Is that you again, Tsunade-sama?"

"Tenzo," Kakashi breathed, fighting down the urge to cross the small space and pull Tenzo into his arms - Tsunade had warned him that touching Tenzo without warning would not be a good idea, especially given that he couldn't see at the moment. "I thought..." _I thought you were dead_. But he couldn't form the words.

He couldn't say it, because Tenzo was now smiling that beautiful, brilliant smile that made Kakashi forget how to breathe, but it was different than before, edged with deep-seated pain and sadness that cut Kakashi to the very bone. He felt guilty - it had been on Tsunade's orders that they waited until the end of the war to look for Tenzo, but Kakashi had gone along with it because this was war and he knew Tenzo wouldn't want him to look, not when the fate of the world hung in the balance. But he should have. He should have looked.

In hindsight, everyone felt pretty shitty about that decision given that if they had gone looking, if they had saved him sooner, they wouldn't have had to fight the White Zetsu clones the enemy had powered with Tenzo's DNA.

Kakashi didn't care about that part, though. He cared about how he had left the man he loved to suffer at the hands of the enemy, and how he had refused to join the search party at the end of the war because he knew he couldn't handle finding Tenzo's body. The funeral he could deal with, Tenzo's name memorialized in stone, but if he had seen the warm brown eyes he loved so much staring blindly, Tenzo's body twisted and broken and completely still in death, he would not have made it.

But Tenzo was alive. He was here, waiting expectantly with hand outstretched, staring at a spot off to Kakashi's left because he couldn't see him standing there. Tenzo had been through hell, but he was still smiling and reaching for Kakashi despite everything.

"Are you still there, Kakashi?" Tenzo asked quietly, his smile beginning to fall when Kakashi still hadn't moved, lowering his hand to the bed. His voice broke, and so did Kakashi. "Don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere." He forced his legs to move, forced himself to walk across the small space that divided them to sit on the edge of the cot. Tenzo sat up instantly, leaning into Kakashi when he wrapped his arms around the younger man, pulling him to his chest and holding him as tightly as he could without hurting him. "It's okay, I'm here. You're safe now. You're safe."

Kakashi had been reluctant to touch him, to hold him, afraid that he would find that this was only a dream. But Tenzo was solid in his arms, real, and for the first time since finding out Tenzo had been captured, Kakashi let himself breathe again.

\---

Eventually, they went home.

Three weeks passed between the end of the war and the time the last patient was discharged to return to their village. In that time, Tsunade and Kakashi had worked tirelessly to adjust Tenzo to the light again, and when the bandages came off for good and Kakashi could finally look into his lover's eyes without seeing him flinch in pain, he was so relieved he could almost cry.

The only thing they couldn't help with were the nightmares, the guilt and fear and absolute agony that woke Tenzo screaming and thrashing. Kakashi took more punches and elbows than he would ever tell Tenzo about, but he suffered through it, wrapping his arms around his kohai and holding him until he came out of it and turned into Kakashi's chest, crying and begging for forgiveness.

"There's nothing to forgive," Kakashi tried to tell him, but Tenzo didn't seem to hear a word of it. So he simply held him, murmuring small words of comfort and love until Tenzo fell asleep once more. It was a little easier when they made it back to the village, back to Kakashi's small apartment, where Tenzo refused to let Kakashi turn the light off in any room that he was in. It helped him to sleep with the light on, so Kakashi didn't complain - he just wished there was more he could do.

It hurt Kakashi more than Tenzo would ever know to see him like this. The younger man had been fearless before, full of life and light, and it was agonizing to see him reduced to this hollow shell of who he once was, this broken fragment of the man he loved. It was hard to watch, to be so helpless, but just as Tenzo had never given up on pulling him out of the darkness, Kakashi refused to give up on Tenzo.

He had made a promise, after all, and he'd be damned if he ever let Tenzo down.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is super angsty and I took a few liberties with immediate post-war canon. Hope you like it! :))


End file.
